How to Talk so People Will Listen

And how to listen so people will feel safe to talk. 

Many misunderstandings and relationship pain could be prevented if we could remember this key principle from Compassionate Communication, developed by Dr. Marsall Rosenberg:

Underneath our reactions, opinions and differences we all have the same universal needs, values, hopes and dreams.

• We all want our children to grow up safe, healthy and successful

• We all value honesty, consideration and respect in our dealings

• We all desire to have peace, happiness and ease in our lives

When we can hold our attention on these qualities – our common humanity and what matters most – we are more likely to be able to dialogue with one another in a way that leads to mutual respect and understanding. We are more likely to cooperate with one another from a place of choice and joy, rather than guilt or obligation. Instead of playing the blame game of “Who’s right”, we focus on building a quality of connection with ourselves and others that honors our respective feelings and needs.

I am eternally grateful to Marshall Rosenberg for the tools and understandings of Compassionate Communication. Studying with Marshall opened the door to a world I had longed for but didn’t have the skills or language to know how to create. There was a huge skill gap between the habits I had learned in my family and what I saw modeled in that first 9 day training with Marshall back in 2000. Most of us have never had any modeling for how to say things with out blame, criticism or implying the other person is the problem! If you’d like to speak your mind without fear or listen without shutting down or reacting, let’s kick start your life toward more ease, confidence and meaningful connection in your relationships. Book a free 30 minute Discovery Session to learn more.